Those who sorrow
by Aria7
Summary: Maedhros thoughts at Alqualonde straight after the first kinslaying, 3rd in series It's not strictly necessary to read the others but it may help.


**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing! Tolkien owns it, he owns it all! The only thing I own in this is the writing and some little bits of detail, maybe? But that's it nothing else. 

**Author's notes:** This is the third in a series, *grins* but can like the previous two stand alone. I have used italics for the speech to differentiate it from the rest of the fic, it's also a little bit different to the previous two as there is less about the oath within it, but if anyone really wants I'll try to incorporate it. It's just Maedhros was getting a little bit too upset with all the blood and the accusing looks and…

Anyway without further ado…

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Those who sorrow… 

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**_"Thus at last the Teleri were overcome, and a great part of their mariners that dwelt in Alqualondё were wickedly slain. For the Noldor were become fierce and desperate, and the Teleri had less strength and were armed for the most part but with slender bows…"_**

Blood, so much blood, who knew that there would have been so much blood. There was supposed to have been none…now I understand mother, now I understand what she tried to tell me those few days ago;

_ "Please my son, listen to me! You know not what you are doing. Please Russandol…"_

_ "Mother!" _I turned to her agape, _"what do you mean? I swore to follow father, I swore an oath unbreakable in the name of Eru Allfather; and even if I had not, the others… Tyelkormo, Carnistir…they are determined to leave and avenge Grandfather. I have heard that even the Lady Iriёn will follow. So how could you ask me to not…" _Then I knew,_ "you aren't going to follow are you? You aren't going to come, why? Is…is it something that we… I did?"_

_ "No, no! Russandol, it has nothing to do with either you or any of your brothers, it is simply…a matter between your father and I that is all…"_

_ "So you'll leave us!"_ I bit back, hurt and anger colouring my words. How could she do this to us…'again!' I almost regretted my words to her then, seeing the tears gathering in her eyes, almost…but not quite. But now, now remembering the pain that those 'words' no, that 'I' caused her…I would gladly take it all back just to see her again; to hear her voice. That same voice that could be as calm as Swans gliding across… nay, not Swans for the Swans are no more. Better to say like deer running free in the woods; for the Swans lie dead in their haven…

It seems like unto an age since we had no cares, that all we had to concern ourselves with was our fathers' ire. But now, now the Light, the Trees , the Two Trees Light has vanished for Laurelin and Telperion have been killed and the Silmarils stolen; so I know not truly how long we have had only the Lady Varda's stars to give us light. Nay, not light, how can this be light?!

Grandfather…how could you speak with such reverence of this…this darkness! Time…it has no meaning anymore. Nay…it has meaning I just do not know how to read it. For without the waxing and waning of Telperion the Silver and Laurelin the Golden, how are we to tell how many days or mayhap even hours; have come and gone under this madness.

Ai father how could you…nay, how could we allow this to happen? But I wonder, do you see? Do you know? Our family it has been torn asunder, Grandfather is dead…killed in cold blood by he whom we now call Moringotho; Grandmother Míriel is in Mandos' halls and, Grandmother Indis has stayed behind in Tirion. Aunt Findis and Aunt Faniel have also remained, although I am not surprised at all by the Lady Faniels' refusal for she is with child… Our Uncle Nolofinwё has followed only through the oath that he did swear to father upon Taniquetil… 

_ "As I promised, I do now. I release thee, and remember no grievance_.

_ Half-brother in blood, full brother in heart will I be. Thou shalt lead I will follow. May no new grief divide us."_

_ "I hear thee, so be it."_

And also at the urging of his eldest son Findékano…

Do not stare at me so cousin, for blood stains your hands as well as mine…

Blood, blood, it is on my hands, they are coated in it. I fear that they shall never be clean again; nay, never and anon will they be clean of this taint that does stain them, me, no…us…as

I see the others, Makalaurё and the wenyn, they lean against each other gathering support…. Tyelkormo has retched and I wish that I had the energy to do the same.

I see the others… Curufinwё is arguing with his wife Vyliriel and Telperinquar is crying; but I blame him not for this, for I can feel the tears in my own eyes…So cry child, cry while you still may, cry while you still can; cry while you are still an innocent of this world. For thy father and his family are no longer like you…for we have killed the Swans in their haven…

Carnistir looks dazed, as though he is walking in a dream but this is nothing new, for he has acted similarly since Elenmirё refused to follow…

Father stares almost in shock at the massacre that he has brought here, the blood and death is reflected in his eyes. He is fey, mad, Grandfathers' death has driven him over the edge and I fear that he shall take us all with him…Uncle Nolofinwё has gone over to him, they are shouting at each other, but I know that father will win…he always does…

Uncle Arafinwё looks sick, I think that he will leave and return to Tirion to beg for the Valars' forgiveness and I do not blame him, he and his family are guiltless in this bloodshed…this massacre…this kinslaying…

Our cousins glare at us, their accusing looks, the weight of a hundred eyes is upon us. But not all of them are guiltless, no not all of them…but some…some are…

Findaráto, Artaher, Angaráto, Ambaráto, Artanis… They are guiltless being in the van of the host, they knew not of the actions of their traitorous kin…

Uncle Arafinwё will not continue, I know he shall not, he did not wish to leave Tirion; and now…the kin of his wife lay slain about us, their blood mixing with the salt waves that they did love…but some of our kin were also slain, for Ainarusco our cousin is dead and many more besides…

So the blood of the thieves mingles with the blood of the Swans, so I sorrow, I sorrow for those lost, lost to our madness…

**_"Then the Noldor drew away their white ships and manned their oars as best they might, and rowed them north along the coast…"_**

I have once again used the Quenya names, due to the story being set in Valinor just after the first kinslaying.

A big, big thank you to Joan Milligan who allowed me to use Vyliriel in this story, she's (Vyliriel) from the RR go look in my favourites to find it, it's called Quenta Narion brilliant fic, 'What if Feanor had lived?' Ainarusco, means Copper fox, and is a cousin of my own making and thanks once again to Joan for giving me the name. I think that almost every name that isn't made by the master in this fic was made by you! Well except Elenmirё she's mine!

Quick name list of Quenya to Sindarin:

Nolofinwё: Fingolfin

Arafinwё: Finarfin

Findaráto: Finrod

Artaher: Orodreth

Angaráto: Angrod

Ambaráto: Aegnor

Artanis: Galadriel

Makalaurё: Maglor

Wenyn: the twins, Ambarussa and Ambarto/Umbarto

Curufinwё: Curufin

Tyelkormo: Celegorm

Carnistir: Caranthir

Findekáno: Fingon

Telperinquar: Celebrimbor

Moringotho: Morgoth

Okay that wasn't as quick as I thought it was going to be!

And finally before anyone complains I know I've placed Orodreth in the third generation but I personally prefer him there it's a lot easier to remember. Finally,

Findis, Faniel and Iriёn are all Tolkiens' characters see HoMe 10-12.


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